The Physicists’ March

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Come hither and hear of our great exploits!

We’re the most beautiful out of all the multitudes
We’re the most cheerful out of all the multitudes
We’re the most enlightened out of all the multitudes
And the most humble of all!

You can go through the needle’s eye seven times,
Can be as important as a condom on the night –

But still you can’t come close to the good old physicist!
’cause physics is the BEST, the BEST, the BEST!

Canst thou integrate a PDE whenst it approacheth a great singularity

Don’t know how to integrate, so only perturbate1
And assuming a convergence might be a mistake.
But we create a new world with our every word and line.
So I’d say we’re doing fine!

Should I be a particle or should be a wave?
And if I were a dead cat then just how should I behave?
I need to find the answers and I need to find them now
But I really don’t know how!

And thou shalt knoweth the simplest of physical systems?

Harmonic oscillator, hydrogen atom2
Whether there is anything else, oh how could I know?
But if there is anything else, I don’t give a shit –
That’s a perturbation hit!

Should I be…

Hast thou heard of the might of Schroedinger’s Equation?

Whether you take nighty climbing3, yoghourt or the King,
Schroedinger’s famous equation can describe everything!
Thoug, Feynman says we’re missing the Moral and the Pig4 –
(It’s) just a perturbation hit!

Should I be…

What knowest thou of the connection of physics and engineering, the expansion of the Universe, the might and beauty of the lyrics, and generally, this whole f@cking lot?

From the table of my knowledge engineers are fed,
Space expands to make room for the thoughts inside my head!
At my command the Earth turns ’round and nuclei decay –
So, only one thing’s left to say:

Should I be…

1The pornographic version cannot be regarded as authentic!
2To tell the truth, the H atom can also be viewed as a four dimensional harmonic oscillator.
3May be replaced by other events, e.g. dancing party, trip to Füzér, etc.
4See Feynman, R. P.: The Feynman Lectures on Physics, Vol. 7.

Written by dgy
In case you are publishing this text or parts thereof, please let us know under
jbruck [at] freemail [dot] hu, patay [at] mafihe [dot] hu

Translated by James T O’Connor,
József Bruck, Peter Kövesárki,

Gergely Patay, Tamás Serényi,
Emily Cook, Jim Grozier, dgy